Also, Black Widow accomplished all of it without being a billionaire.
Without being a billionaire, without wearing armor, and IN HIGH HEELS. Suck it.
So my brother emailed me this picture with the caption “Now WHO could they have had to deal with to make this law….”
I take this as further proof Doctor Who is secretly a documentary.
And don’t even ASK what the Groton laws are regarding men with scarves.
I just found out about the latest Bundle of Holding, which is a collection of amazing RPGs that you can play with your kids. This is the perfect way to introduce your children to roleplaying games, and you can do it for about five bucks.
Check it out:
I like to encourage my regular Thursday night group to eat less junk, and to that end I often cook up a meal for us to enjoy before the game. Last time I posted a recipe for a hearty stew, but this…
1. There are plenty of ways to enter a pool. The stairs is not one of them.
2. Never cancel dinner plans by text message.
3. Don’t knock it ‘til you try it.
4. If a street performer makes you stop walking, you owe him a buck.
5. Always use ‘we’ when referring to your home team or your government.
6. When entrusted with a secret, keep it.
7. Don’t underestimate free throws in a game of ‘horse’.
8. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.
9. Don’t dumb it down.
10. You only get one chance to notice a new haircut.
11. If you’re staying more than one night, unpack.
12. Never park in front of a bar.
13. Expect the seat in front of you to recline. Prepare accordingly.
14. Keep a picture of your first fish, first car, and first boy/girlfriend.
15. Hold your heroes to a high standard.
16. A suntan is earned, not bought.
17. Never lie to your doctor.
18. All guns are loaded.
19. Don’t mention sunburns. Believe me, they know.
20. The best way to show thanks is to wear it. Even if it’s only once.
21. Take a vacation of your cell phone, internet, and TV once a year.
22. Don’t fill up on bread, no matter how good.
23. A handshake beats an autograph.
24. Don’t linger in the doorway. In or out.
25. If you choose to go in drag, don’t sell yourself short.
26. If you want to know what makes you unique, sit for a caricature.
27. Never get your hair cut the day of a special event.
28. Be mindful of what comes between you and the Earth. Always buy good shoes, tires, and sheets.
29. Never eat lunch at your desk if you can avoid it.
30. When you’re with new friends, don’t just talk about old friends.
31. Eat lunch with the new kids.
32. When traveling, keep your wits about you.
33. It’s never too late for an apology.
34. Don’t pose with booze.
35. If you have the right of way, take it.
36. You don’t get to choose your own nickname.
37. When you marry someone, remember you marry their entire family.
38. Never push someone off a dock.
39. Under no circumstances should you ask a woman if she’s pregnant.
40. It’s not enough to be proud of your ancestry; live up to it.
41. Don’t make a scene.
42. When giving a thank you speech, short and sweet is best.
43. Know when to ignore the camera.
44. Never gloat.
45. Invest in good luggage.
46. Make time for your mom on your birthday. It’s her special day, too.
47. When opening presents, no one likes a good guesser.
48. Sympathy is a crutch, never fake a limp.
49. Give credit. Take blame.
50. Suck it up every now and again.
51. Never be the last one in the pool.
52. Don’t stare.
53. Address everyone that carries a firearm professionally.
54. Stand up to bullies. You’ll only have to do it once.
55. If you’ve made your point, stop talking.
56. Admit it when you’re wrong.
57. If you offer to help don’t quit until the job is done.
58. Look people in the eye when you thank them.
59. Thank the bus driver.
60. Never answer the phone at the dinner table.
61. Forgive yourself for your mistakes.
62. Know at least one good joke.
63. Don’t boo. Even the ref is somebody’s son.
64. Know how to cook one good meal.
65. Learn to drive a stick shift.
66. Be cool to younger kids. Reputations are built over a lifetime.
67. It’s okay to go to the movies by yourself.
68. Dance with your mother/father.
69. Don’t lose your cool. Especially at work.
70. Always thank the host.
71. If you don’t understand, ask before it’s too late.
72. Know the size of your boy/girlfriend’s clothes.
73. There is nothing wrong with a plain t-shirt.
74. Be a good listener. Don’t just wait for your turn to talk.
75. Keep your word.
76. In college, always sit in the front. You’ll stand out immediately.
77. Carry your mother’s bags. She carried you for nine months.
78. Be patient with airport security. They’re just doing their jobs.
79. Don’t be the talker in a movie.
80. The opposite sex likes people who shower.
81. You are what you do, not what you say.
82. Learn to change a tire.
83. Be kind. Everyone has a hard fight ahead of them.
84. An hour with grandparents is time well spent. Ask for advice when you need it.
85. Don’t litter.
86. If you have a sister, get to know her boyfriend. Your opinion is important.
87. You won’t always be the strongest or the fastest. But you can be the toughest.
88. Never call someone before 9am or after 9pm.
89. Buy the orange properties in Monopoly.
90. Make the little things count.
91. Always wear a bra at work.
92. There is a fine line between looking sultry and slutty. Find it.
93. You’re never too old to need your mom.
94. Ladies, if you make the decision to wear heels on the first date, commit to keeping them on and keeping your trap shut about how much your feet kill.
95. Know the words to your national anthem.
96. Your dance moves might not be the best, but I promise making a fool of yourself is more fun then sitting on the bench alone.
97. Smile at strangers.
98. Make goals.
99. Being old is not dictated by your bedtime.
100. If you have to fight, punch first and punch hard.
Asked by Anonymous
Once upon a time I was babysitting my 12 year-old cousin and I took her to the mall for food and window shopping. This was around the time Enchanted came out so of course the walls were lined with Giselle. Not that I particularly minded, Enchanted was a good film.
So at any rate, I was casually browsing some of the outfits they had out and pick out this pink sparkly dress meant to be Aurora’s. I said, “Hey, Destiny, why don’t you wear this for Halloween?”
I should note I was just joking because this was the age where she was rebelling against dresses but rather than to comment on that she simply replied with, “That isn’t for me.”
I thought she was talking about the fact that I was holding up a dress so I pressed on, “Aw why not? C’mooon! I’m sure it’ll look great on you! Oh we could get you a nice tiara and sparkly heels-“
But she shook her head and went, “That’s only for white girls.”
Of course it was the initial line that took me by surprise, but even moreso was the sheer matter-of-factness that was in her voice. She wasn’t even fazed by it and talked as if was telling me some fact that I must have missed in a memo.
She went on to look at the TV screen but I kept going through the outfits thinking that maybe Jasmine or Pocahontas or Mulan would work, but that wasn’t the problem.
The problem IS that she is the so-called target audience for a store in which she found nothing for her and she accepted it as a fact.
The problem IS that all of this princess stuff isn’t FOR her.
The problem IS that I went through this revelation when I was her age and I thought that it would have ended a long time ago.
The problem IS that they rejoiced in Tiana only to get three more non-POC princesses.
And the problem is that all of this will CONTINUE to be and I just don’t know if I would be able to stand watching my two year-old niece realize this herself.
Because we’re Mexican, we’re mixed, we’re African-American, but most importantly we’re not white.
So you know what? No. Fuck YOU.
Because I WAS a kid. These princess movies WERE created for me, my cousins, my niece, and damn near every other little girl I have know in my lifetime.
And we were NEVER a part of their formula.
We are NEVER going to be a part of their formula.
I’m sick of this shit. I want to see this shit change and I’m not going to sit around waiting for it to change.
I am going to raise hell and I will bust my ass through school and I will get my degree and I will get into the animation industry and I will fight my absolute hardest to help in the change because if there’s one thing I never want to see again is a kid questioning why movies refuse to acknowledge their existence.
So you sit the fuck down and you shut the fuck up and you go through hearing this shit from four different kids and then you see if you can get off your fucking ass and say that shit to me again.